The Hills: No Place Like Home
May 5, 2008

MTV, Mondays at 10:00PM

Genre: Reality-ish

Conceit: Watch What Happens When MTV Stops Being Real And Starts Letting Producers Manipulate.

Lets start with this: Can we stop thinking that Bolthouse lets Heidi “work” at SBE for any other reason than the promotion from being on The Hills.  Last season it was Les Deux, this season S Bar.  Lets call a spade a spade, ok?  Heidi asked Brent for more responsibilities, specifically those which would take her out of town.  I swear that the way Heidi described her responsibilities far exceeded anything that Bolthouse said in the meeting, but isn’t that The Hills?  Heidi arriving with Bolthouse and “Sam” in a Bentley to take their private jet was a bit much of Bolthouse playing to the camera.  I loved Stephanie’s statement that if Heidi leaves, Stephanie will never get rid of Spencer.  How very true.  Man, this kid is five years old.  I admit that I regress when I’m with my sister, but this is rather ridiculous.  “Lalalalalalalala…go away.”  Really?  The only thing worse was Spencer longfully moping around Heidi’s empty apartment.  Seriously man, dignity please.

Speaking of using The Hills for promotion, this episode was all about letting the world know how great The Alkaline Trio is.  Subtle.  The awkward tension in the studio while the girls watched the Trio was…awkward.  This just further widened the gulf between Audrina and the Laurens.   Lo’s feelings about Audrina seems pretty obvious to anyone but LC.  Audrina was the new friend who took Lo’s place when LC moved and Lo wants in the door and wants to shut the door behind her.  She made this clear when she told Audrina that Chloe (their new puppy) had two moms, while all three of them were in the room.  She pours her heart out of Justin-Bobby, who by the way is far more bearable with short hair.  Audrina also finally seemed human during her conversation with J-B.  Its odd that she hasn’t ever seemed that way when talking to LC.  I guess that’s the difference between being in a conversation and being a sounding board.  Audrina walked away thinking its about time she looks for her own place.  Thankfully this “story” is moving somewhere.

Final Grade: B